THE WEDDING INVITATION

From Love Notes Of Joe D' Mango

Dear Joe,

I'm 23 years old and currently working in a large company here in Makati. I never thought that one day I'll be writing you and ask for an advice, not for me but for a friend. Let's call my friend, Marvin. We were on our first year in college when Sheila, a friend since highschool, told me her crush, that's Marvin. Joe, right from the start Sheila knew that it's just a one way thing since they still don't know each other. But still, she kept on wishing that one day they will be friends and soon will be more than friends. As a friend, I befriended Marvin to make Sheila's wish come true. I introduced Marvin to Sheila. Joe, it was just a hi and hello thing. Nothing more.

Until one day, on our third year, Sheila met a guy who looks like Marvin. The guy courted her and she didn't hesitate to answer him right away. I was shocked and asked her why so soon. Joe, it was because the guy looks like Marvin. I don't know, but I think it's not fair on the guy. I was afraid for Sheila coz I believe in karma. After a few months, Sheila was so happy to share with me their happy moments together. She honestly told me that she made the right decision in answering Anthony and that she learned to love him not because of Marvin but because of what he really is. The relationship went on smoothly for almost a year. But just like many relationships, theirs to end. Joe, Anthony's studies suffered. His mother was blaming Sheila. That was the start of their on and off relationship and in the end, they broke up. It was so hard for her to accept what happened and so she kept on asking for Anthony to come back. But all she got for an answer was a NO.

Joe, during Sheila’s tumultuous relationship, Marvin and I became close friends. It was then that he told me he has feelings for Sheila even before I introduced them. I kept it to myself so as not to ruin Sheila's relationship with Anthony. I never told Sheila about it even after their breakup. When Marvin learned about the break up he asked me for an advice. He asked me if it's alright for him to court Sheila. I told him that if he really is interested then go for it. I felt excited and worried at the same time for Sheila might not be ready for another relationship. Marvin took the risk.

Joe, they started going out. Sheila became secretive and it was Marvin who was makuwento. Marvin thought that they are already in the M.U stage of their relationship since Sheila was giving him goodnight kisses everytime he brings her home. But I knew that Sheila was entertaining another guy. I don't know what happened after that, I just heard that Sheila ended up with the other guy.

Years passed Joe, we graduated from college. I haven't heard from Sheila but Marvin and I kept our communication lines open until the time when I was assigned to one of our branches in Davao. After a couple of months, the next thing I knew, sila na. I was so happy for the two of them. I thought the relationship would last but it seemed like Marvin was the only one who's willing to make the relationship work. He told me that everytime they see each other, he cannot sense Sheila’s excitement. During their monthsaries, it was only Marvin who remembers to greet Sheila. I was kind of confused why Sheila was doing this to Marvin coz before, I knew how much she liked him. I still remember her wish. I pity Marvin coz I know how much he loves Sheila now. I wanted to confront Sheila why is she doing this to Marvin but I don't have the courage to ask her since she became secretive and she doesn't know that I know what's going on between them right from the start.

Then one day, I was surprised when Marvin told me that they were getting married. I was so happy for them. Marvin was telling me all his plans for their coming wedding and future as well. I don't know how Marvin will take this, Joe. The other day, I received a wedding invitation from Sheila. I was shocked. It was not Marvin's name written there. I called Sheila to ask her if this was all a joke. I heard all the excitement from her voice. She was not joking, Joe. I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell her how unworthy she was for Marvin's love. I don't know what kind of girl she is. If only we were talking face to face I could have slapped her! I was crying inside for Marvin. What hurts me most, Joe, was that she didn’t seem to care for Marvin's feelings at all. I don't think she's planning to tell this to Marvin.

After that phone conversation with Sheila, Marvin and I talked. He was very excited to tell me that he will ask Sheila to get me as one of her bridesmaids. I don't know what to say. We parted without me telling him about Sheila's coming wedding. Joe, a month from now, Sheila is getting married. I'm afraid of how Marvin would take this. He loves Sheila so much. I felt that it was Sheila's responsibility to tell Marvin but until now Sheila hasn't made any move yet. Should I blame Marvin for loving Sheila that much or should I blame Sheila for hurting Marvin?

Joe, should I be the one to break the news to Marvin or should I wait for Sheila to tell him? How long should I wait for Sheila to tell Marvin? I fear that Sheila might not tell him about it and I feel that the longer I wait for Sheila's move the more guilt feeling I would have to endure and the more pain it would inflict on Marvin.

Thanks Joe for reading this letter. I need your immediate advice on this. More power on your program, "LoveNotes".
Heidee C.


Dear Heidee,

You are on a very sensitive ground because you hold the key to all of Sheila’s secrets which could open a door of doom and disaster for everyone. But, there is a cloud of doubt in my mind. Somehow, I just couldn’t understand how Marvin could have been so naively kept in the dark when Sheila was openly working on her own wedding and even manages to give you an invitation with someone else’s name in it.

Your friend may be playing a game on you and you have to be very careful for you might fall in trap that would be very difficult to rise from. I also sense that you have a special concern for Marvin that makes Sheila’s actions difficult to accept. There is nothing wrong in feeling that way whether that concern is on a level of friendship or love.

When Sheila gave you her invitation, she knew she had opened the risk of Marvin finding out the truth. She knew you could tell Marvin her secrets and that is probably what she wanted you to do. I believe it is best to talk to her about this before letting the coffee spill from your cup. If she really is getting married to someone else and she doesn’t have any plans of telling Marvin then, as a friend, you may, as you wish, tell Marvin yourself. Show him the invitation as proof and his reaction will tell you if had been part of this charade or not.

This masquerade will have to come to its close sooner or later, Heidee. In the end, Sheila will be married, Marvin would be devastated and you would be hurt seeing him that way. The pain will linger and the your wounds will hurt but all these will come to pass in time. At least Marvin will still have you to stand by him in the most trying moment of his life.

Love, even in all its color and splendor can still cast a storm in our lives and sometimes cause great emotional destruction. Let us always remember that there is no love without pain. There is no reward without sacrifice. Sometimes, there just can never be a graceful exit. We just have to let love take its course and hurt those who been caught in it and leave us with the cold hard fact that there will never be an easy way to break someone’s heart.


Joe