The Risk of a Lifelong Commitment

From Love Notes Of Joe D' Mango

Dear Joe,

Just call me Cathy. I’m presently residing here in Rome, the Eternal City.

I met Mark in second year college. At first I didn’t really like him because he seemed arrogant. He lived next to my apartment, and all his friends did was make noise with their songs and loud guitars. One day, he greeted me and to my amazement, I smiled and said hi, too.

It all started there. And we were suddenly falling in love with each other. I was so touched when he left his girlfriend for me. Our first three years were really great and full of romance. During our fourth year, he met a model who became his textmate. He was distracted and I became very jealous. We had a terrible fight. It came to a point that he was hurting me physically, so I gave him up.

I decided to stay with my parents here in Rome. Here, I met Daniel, who is half-Italian and half-Filipino, and very kind to me. At first we were so happy. The only problem with him is that he lacks a sense of responsibility. Here in Rome, either you study in a university or you work to earn for a living. He doesn’t want to do any of the two; he just wants to play and hang around.

I joined a travel agency and met John, the guy who escorted me during my debut. What a small world! I didn’t actually know him well because he was my mother’s friend.

John and I started going out and I fell for him. He picked me up one time and kissed me inside his car. It was the sweetest kiss I had ever had. I found the greatest love in John. I felt that he loved me so much and that his family accepts me. My problem is that John is so afraid of marriage and always says he’s not yet ready. On my birthday, he asked me to meet him in a jewelry shop. He wanted me to choose a ring that he would buy for me. I’m not fond of jewelry but it’s so flattering when the one you love gives it to you. It made me feel special. But when we were about to buy it, he changed his mind again.

Please enlighten me Joe. I don’t understand him. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him. How can I make him commit to me?

Cathy


Dear Cathy,

It is not unusual for any person in a relationship to be apprehensive about marriage. For many people, marriage is the ultimate and final bond that they would commit themselves to for the rest of their lives. With so many distractions and relationships failing one after the other, it is not uncommon to see men and women walk out at the first serious sign of commitment. Life is difficult, and sometimes we feel that even if we work so hard we still wouldn’t have enough to satisfy ourselves.

Cathy, men can make up a thousand excuses for not consenting to marriage. But whatever their justifications may be, they just point out one simple fact—they still do not find the relationship compelling enough to make a complete turn in their lives. Love is the fire that burns the desire to be with someone forever. Your boyfriend loves you, but he still doesn’t love you enough to take the risk of a lifelong commitment. Love knows no fear, and people who marry because of love sacrifice and commit themselves in making their marriage last.

Cathy, at the end of the day, it would still be your boyfriend’s decision. Your task is to make him realize that there is only one you, and if he lets this chance pass there may never be another one. He has to feel that you are the single most important person in this world for him. Loving you should be the only thing that he would want to do. It’s easier said than done but believe me, men do take their strength from the women they love. Make him happy because he chose you instead of making him feel guilty because he passed on his chance of being with the woman who loves him more than anything else in this world.

Joe