Bizarre Love Triangle

From Love Notes of Joe d' Mango


Dearest Joe,

I've been a regular follower of lovenotes and I never thought that it would be my turn now to seek for your advice. My painful story happened in my workplace . The people concerned are my co-workers who happened to be the people closest in my life.

Jay had been my very first friend in the office. He is really very kind and even if he was a real suplado, we got along very well. My parents separated and I was in deep sorrow but I had no one to turn to coz my friends were so busy and were out of reach.

Jay had to go to the province to visit his ailing mom. I felt all alone although he would call me once in a while. It was during his absence that I became close to Lisa, an officemate who was like the black sheep in the office. She has no permanent friends because she's really childish and impulsive. She was the first person who noticed I wasn't feeling fine. She always checked on me and was concerned on how I was doing. She's very sweet and thoughtful although she is really very childish at that and a real spoiled brat. It was a good thing I'm a very patient person. I was the only one who understood her. She was with me during the time when I was so sad, although she had given me so many headaches, I was still thankful that she was there for me when I needed her.

Jay went back to work after a week and I was really happy. I told her about Lisa. He never liked her and asked me to stay away from her but I didn't want to leave. Lisa alone just like that so he had no choice. It wasn't long when the three of us became good friends. Jay finally proposed but I only wanted him to be a friend at that time. Just like Lisa, he became very sweet to me and would always take me home after office. Lisa knew there was something special about our friendship and so she stood as the bridge for the two of us.

After 3 months, I answered Jay. We decided to keep it from Lisa for 3 weeks and when she knew about it, she said she was a bit disappointed with us for not telling her right away. But, things went smoothly again. The three of us would go out again just like before. Everything went fine for a year for the three of us until one day, I just felt something was wrong already. Jay and Lisa became very sweet to each other. I confronted jay and told him that I needed a little respect. I wanted Lisa to keep her distance at least to define their friendship properly and to acknowledge that I'm Jay's girlfriend.

The next day, Lisa started ignoring. Jay told her about our conversation. He said I was being unfair to Lisa for thinking that way. I never argued with him about it and I just left. He didn't even bother to call me so I decided to beep him and end everything.

Lisa talked to me and patched up everything. Jay and I were back in each other's arms. I gave him another chance for he was sincere when he apologized. Lisa, decided to resign after a month to give Jay and I the space we needed. We tried to stop her but to no avail. On her last day the three of us went out.

We all cried to dinner. When I came home I called up Lisa but she was not home yet. I kept on calling Jay until 2:30 AM and his brother said he won't go home that night. Joe, I never slept the whole night. I was in deep pain. I was hoping my senses were not right.

The next day, I never approached Jay but he was not in a good mood due to hang over. He never even bothered to greet me 'good morning'. We never really talked in the office until when I was about to go home. I asked him what he has done. He confessed everything. Lisa invited him to go out that night for the last time because she wanted to ask him what she could give me as a remembrance. He agreed because he thought it would be a nice surprise, but things turned out differently. She invited him to go out and drink as a farewell celebration. Jay was not a drinker so after just 3 glasses of beer, he was already dizzy but they still went on. He never stopped because he doesn't want to be the one who will go down first. But Lisa was a seasoned drinker.

He said that when he woke up, he just found himself in bed with Lisa. Yes, something happened that night Jay was very angry that he just left Lisa who was still sleeping that time. He showed me the messages of Lisa, asking for forgiveness and asking to return her call so they could talk properly but he never called her. He was crying so hard and he kept on saying sorry to me in between sobs. I cried so hard, too. I didn't know what to do. I felt everything fell on me. I felt the deepest pain in my life, being hurt by my boyfriend and close friend.

I decided to end everything but he refused. But my decision was very final. I ignore him in the office, even if it tears my heart apart. I feel like crying every time I see him. Everytime we talk about our work. He never fails to say "good morning" when I arrive at the office. He still calls me but I would always find an excuse to hang up. Lisa called me up one day only to say sorry but she has fallen deeply in love with Jay and that she believes it's not her fault if she's done such a thing. I just ignored her and made her realize I've been a very good friend to her that she has never been to me. We both cried and I hung up. I never bothered to talk to her since then . She has sent me a lot of letters already but I never read any of them.

It's so hard to forgive. She still beeps Jay but he never called her again. Jay still calls me every night. We still talk about the usual things but it's so hard to bring back the old glow. He still loves me and I still Love him so much. Nothing has changed, Joe. I still want him back but it's not easy to accept him again after all he has done to hurt me. What will I do??? I don't want to lose him but I don't want to be hurt that way again...
Please advice us on this. We both listen to your lovenotes every Friday.

Thank you so much,
Lonely Ina

Dear Ina,

When someone we love breaks our hearts the pain it brings creeps into the deepest recesses of our souls and tears us apart. We are raged with hatred and harbor nothing but anger.

Sadly, just when our anger subsides, our ego takes over. Sometimes a hurt pride takes a lifetime longer to heal and this usually gets in the way of a peaceful reconciliation if, our efforts would lead to it at all.

We may never find the best foot to put forward because we are always taken aback by our own pride and dignity.

You can point your blame on Jay and Lisa all your life, but that would not change anything anymore. No amount of regret can turn the hands of time and give you the power to change what destiny has permanently etched on our lives.

Ina, you can never find rest until you finally let go of the hatred in your heart. Don't live all your life cursing Lisa for falling in love with Jay. She has laid her cards and asked for forgiveness . I think it's just about time you let the past rest in peace and find mercy in your heart .

Love
Joe,