He Wants to Say Sorry to the Girl He Left Behind

From Love Notes of Joe d' Mango



Dear Joe,

Just call me Stephen. I am 27 years old and working for a multinational firm as an Engineer. I've had several relationships and one had brought me to married life just recently. I have a happy marriage and I don't have any regrets.

My problem is with my most recent before I met my wife. I have to admit, that I was not the easiest guy to get along with at that time. I was always jealous, and I would always feel that my ex-girlfriend, Anne, didn't really love me.

We worked at the same office. She was my first serious girlfriend. Although I've had girlfriends before, Anne was actually the one that I had planned to marry. I wanted her to meet my parents but she was anxious about it. So, I secretly arranged for my parents to meet us somewhere and join us for dinner. This offended her and started a lot of arguments . Joe,, I saw a side of Anne that I had never seen before.

During our arguments, Anne would always threaten to break up with me. One time, we actually did. Then, I begged her to come back to me promising that I would change. I tried to tame my jealous streaks and mood swings, but Anne did the reverse, she was the one throwing the jealous streaks at me, especially when she met one of my officemates, May.

May was very close to me, and to everybody else, except for Anne. She would tell me that Anne was snobbish. She actually was, most of the time. This remark outraged Anne. She would always pin May on our arguments, and when I couldn't take it anymore, I decided to call it quits.

I had a "rebound" relationship with a girl named Jane but it didn't last long. I decided to break up with her and went back to Anne again. Anne took me back, but then things went worse. Anne didn't change. She would order me around and I felt that she was taking advantage of me, since I was the one who wooed her back. Finally, I got tired of it all and just left her without breaking up. We never called or talked to each other after that.

I was so depressed at that time, I had no one to turn to, except May who became my best friend and eventually my wife. I resigned from my job at that time and married May.

But just recently, I met one of my peers and she told me that Anne had cried upon knowing I got married to May, she became depressed and distant to everyone. She's still single and doesn't want to entertain suitors anymore. Joe, I felt guilty upon knowing that so I tried to call her to say sorry, but she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I decided to leave her alone and at best not to bother her again. But a part of me still feels guilty, because I didn't get the chance to say sorry. How can I tell her sorry if she doesn't want to talk to me? Is it ok just to leave it that way? I hope you can help me.

Sincerely,
Stephen


Stephen,

When we marry someone, we should close the old chapters of our lives and give way to open a new one. Unfortunately, there has been no closure between you and Anne. You just drifted apart without really being certain about the final status of your relationship. She was devastated when she found out that you married May because she was hoping that you still might come back again.

Stephen, if it would make you feel better saying sorry, then do so. If she doesn't want to give you a chance to be heard then send her a written apology. This gesture could probably bring the finality your failed relationship needed. Maybe, this could help her take a step forward and move on. This could also relieve you of your guilt that has been constantly bothering you.

I believe in destiny. I believe that there is one person who would walk into our lives and share it with us forever. There is a reason why relationships fail. There is a reason why jealousy poisons our feelings. There is a reason for everything that happens in our lives. Sometimes, these reasons are difficult to understand. But, there are times when we don't have to , we just have to accept them and live the life that was destined for us. You have found your life, Stephen. Live it the way you should. Love your wife and find joy and happiness in Gods' greatest gift: your marriage.

Love,Joe